kawan atau lawan

friendship mengikut wikipedia is

"the cooperative and supportive relationship between two or more people that involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis"

respect la mangkuk!!! and it is mutual (mutual tu maksudnya dalam bahasa malaysia adalah saling or something that is commonly shared.

and thank you for the understanding souls who treat this bond the way it should be.love you guys!!

Friendship is a little more trust,
A little less try,
A little more laugh,
And a little less cry,
A little more we and a little less I

sekian!!

ramadhan ini

...banyak menerima dan memenuhi jemputan berbuka puasa (wah, macam vip pulak).xdela.mostly teman aida pegi berbuka dgn geng2 hr.teman2 department ku x berape berminat untuk get together session seperti ini.well, last tuesday, vcmsb buat majlis berbuka puasa, bertempat di residence resort paka. most of the staff datang bersama keluarga tercinta.as usual, (always together) me and aida jadi registrar pada malam itu.sempatlah kami mengenali keluarga2 mereka tapi wajah itu tidak muncul sampai majlis berakhir.*sigh*

well,majlis tetap berjalan dengan lancar dan aku berjaya mengharungi sesi memenuhkan perut dengan cemerlang.laksa,yong tau fu,murtabak,ikan bakar,cendol,fruits and cakes telah ditelan dengan lahapnye.sedap dan enak!!here is a photo during the night (tak berjaya upload banyak.terukla network kat kerteh ni.)

me and aida

whatever will be, will be

how many people can really tell its really over?i think most of us prefer to keep on pretending and live in denial (stupid!!) rather than accepting the coldest fact that its over. in my case, yes!i just cant or maybe dont want to admit that all of these are over.dah2 la tu.dia pun didnt care enough to ask me how am i doing, lagi nak still hold on to him. BERHENTI buat sesuatu yang sia-sia ok!!it doesnt bring you anywhere, in fact you'll get stucked.

i read a story of a pine tree, wrote by rin's friend and it hits me so much that i wanna put it here. (to hazwan, we may not know each other, but ur story really made me think.thank you!!)

its about a pine tree, which this guy used to keep. he kept it really well that he watered it every day. one summer day, he thought of putting the tree outside as it was going to rain and he was to lazy to water it. then, it was raining, heavily indeed and windy. the next day, he went out to see how the pine was doing and to his shock, the pot was knocked down and the stem was snapped. dont know what to do, he left the broken pine and a few weeks after that the pine tree started to shrink and eventually died. the story thought him that in life, when something bad happen, we tend to hold on to that until God knows when and we stucked.that pine tree had asked him to cut the broken stem, so that new stem able to grow.

the example was there, clearly in front of us.but i am becoming more and more ignorance, hesitate to learn from it.stop holding to the past or to something that tied you from moving forward.get out from this 'toxic relationship' (aida, i borrowed ur words) that obviously wont bring me anywhere and clearly not working out.like the pine tree that the broken stem should be cut off so that new stem will come out of it, i should do the same.cut off the string and accept the situation.like he said, MOVE ON!!i know it will hurt me so bad, but the clock is ticking.it wont wait. lets flip the next page and be happy. after all, thats what i need the most.

then, there is no you and i made it through. what have change that i need you now?i guess NOTHING and again, i will make it as good as before, maybe better, minus you, plus those who care!!

its alright (im only bleeding)

i wish i could change some of the things about how i've acted in the last couple of months. i guess i am just disappointed in myself. i told him that if he loved his girl then i would learn to be okay with that, because i wanted him to be happy. but really i just wanted us to be happy, like me and him. and in this little space of mine, scribbling the untold (cant find the words to tell) thoughts, hoping the pain will heal. i wish for God to give me the patience and grace and strength to just let him be happy. and mostly i pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what i want. that is the toughest part, LETTING GO. that is the part of grace that really sucks!!

talked to mamie and that teary laughy conversation is the bestest mother/daughter talk i've ever had. what do i do now mie and where do i go from here? he is asking that girl to marry him and this 3rd of syawal, they are getting engaged. mie said love should not hurt you. dont repeat my mistakes. love someone that able to love you back. life is too short sayang for you to hurt and disappoint yourself. he's getting married, fine! you are brilliant, beautiful, smart and successful and obviously deserve someone better. i know letting go is not easy, even me myself still cant find the strength to move on with my life without abah, tapi takkan kita nak hidup while dwelling in that sadness. sampai bila? so find your happiness. i have found mine which is anak2, so u should find yours.

to you, i dont want to rehash the past. i read somewhere that the most perfect act of love is sacrificed. thats what i will do to you, burying my feeling for you, so we can be just a good friend. i love you, wan sharihelmi and i think i have since the first moment we locked eyes. its gonna suck, but if what you want is for me to let go, then i am gonna do it. be happy, sayang. i want that with all my heart.

tears!

thing that remind me of you the most
*selipar merah*

friday blues

what a gloomy day!!woke up with pain in the stomach (macam seriyes je), tried to cook some porridge, tapi dah hangus, yang kali kedua ni, hopefully ok.ergggghhhh!!!

suddenly i miss everyone!!especially mommy!!

indah

trip no: 3
destination: perhentian island (again!!)
when: 3-4 july
peserta: me, aida fasehah, boyfriend aida, wan shahrihelmi :D
tempat bermalam: coral view resort, perhentian besar
ulasan:
"pegi 17 kali pun x puas!!" -me-
"semangat nk beli google sendiri lepas ni!!" -aida-
"nak contact number abg man reef. nak datang lagi!!" -bf aida-
"........" -wan shahrihelmi- (xterdengar pulak komen pakcik ni.xde perasaan sungguh!!)
photos:

*picturesque!!*

*me, aida and boats*

*panas gile masa ni*

*nasib baik tertinggal boat.klu x, xdela gambar ni*

i bet there will be next time for perhentian or redang maybe.looking forward for diving license!!

bye!

unkindness of life

life's cruel to me today!!

sleepless night (waiting and waiting for the uncertainty!!)
hectic day (kerja x habis2 plus ignorance creatures called manusia)
heartache (am i the priority?sorry, you're not!!)
disappoinment (just tell me how to show you how much i care!!)
maggi and coke (my dinner)

the end

trail of the past

wah!!!i'm back!!(finally;o)

i went back to melaka last 2 weeks. spending some time with umi, abah and han. umi terkejut when i arrived (thinking i'm still in kerteh from last call which is like 15 minutes before i sampai).sorry umi!!anakmu ini sememangnya nakal.;)

the next day, went to bandar melaka.umi needed to settle few issues, but me and han roamed around the town.here are the photos (and me looked damn kurus!!hihi)

*me and jerawatless-han (jeles!!)*

*tomb raider*

*mcm nak patah je spotlight tu han!!*

all in all, me so happy.dapat balik n jumpa mereka2 yang paling amat disayangi
*abah,umi,angah,ain,han,ojah,man*

spill of thoughts

out of 5, i rated this movie as 5 stars. just love the scripts, the storyline and or course BRAD PITT (can't get enough of his eyes!!drooled 8D). throughout the movie, this quote i find it very inspiring.

" for what is worth, it is never too late to be whoever you want to be. there is no time limit. start whenever you want. you can change or stay the same. there are no rules to this thing. we can make the best or the worst of it. i hope you make the best of it. and i hope you see things that startle you and i hope you feel things you never felt before. i hope you meet people with a different point of view. i hope you live a life you are proud of. if you find that you are not, i hope you have the strength to start all over again"

- the curious case of benjamin button-

sunday blues

despite the good weather and the fact that i am on leave today, my mood is disaster!!!woke up at 3am this morning, alarmed by this 'nature's call', followed by 4 similar consequence calls for the next 5 hours and now at 10.38am, i think im gonna answer the 5th call.aaaaaaaaaa!!!!

kama, im answering your call too. (aku tengah update blog ni..;)

last 2 weeks, we went to air terjun chemerong.planned for a picnic there.so the girls kena kerah jadi tukang masak.ila, mar n me kena masak mihun n sandwich.first attempt ni masak untuk ramai orang.tapi ila, mihun u superbly sedap. i dont believe its your first time.

then, off we go to chemerong!!

*alhamdulillah for the good weather*

*the destination*
HUTAN LIPUR CHEMERONG

*the waterfall*
~cantik!!~

*excited!xsabar nak terjun*

*then, we realized we left mihun at home :(*

*sejuk!!*

*erm..s.p.e.e.c.h.l.e.s.s.!!i think the smiles is enough to tell the story*

*ila, me and mar*
nmpk x mcm scene 'the matrix' kat belakang tu

*happy ten friends*
gediknye aku :S

jadi, hari itu berakhir dengan mereka2 ini singgah ke rumah dan menjamu mihun tertinggal td. since masing2 lapar, mihun sejuk pun belasah.

jumpa lagi di lain rencana!